Friday, September 02, 2005


This week was a blast! kakapagod pero enjoy... Sobrang saya ng birthday ni baby kobe! 2nd bday…2 day celebration… waaahhh ang gastos nga lang! Hehehe Pero worthit lahat ng pagod ko when I saw those huge smiles at countless giggles ng li’l angel ko at ng mga bisita nyang chikiting. Even kaming mga matatatanda nakisali sa gulo nang pagagawan ung mga sobrang souvenir accessories. Best buy talaga! Feels gud seeing dem wear those necklaces n pinili ko! Now bumabawi ako sa tulog coz a week b4 d occasion bc nko sa preparations, then sumabay pa ung death ni tatay jonny na as usual pinaglamayan din namin ni mato kahit wala ng pahinga. As in pasmado na nga ako kc pagtapos magluto diretso ligo then pasyal, and asikaso sa mga cousins kong nagstay sa bahay b4 n after kob’s bday. Grabe hirap ng walang katulong, wlang yaya, walang asawa! Hehe joke! Ok lng na I dnt have anybdy coz wala rin ako kahati sa reward after. Solong hirap…solong happiness din. Sounds pathetic b? hu cares basta masaya ako kc napasaya ko ang kiddo ko! =) pero seriously, syempre mas masaya if I have all my love ones w/ us 2 celebrate dat day. Pero k lng… may next time pa naman. =)


The past 2 months was a big adjustment for me… trying to cope up on situation that’s too painful and harsh. But I must say I’m learning a lot from these experiences. I proved myself that what I recently did for my “failed’ relationship wasn’t at all a failure. Maybe in some ways it is, but for me it is more of a triumphant challenge that I was able to get pass through.

Looking around me…I have seen people experiencing lost. Tatay jonny passed away recently…sya lang naman ang cool at mabait na tatay ng choirmates kong sina jong, alma n anabelle. Sad noh? Then my closest tita sario had to move to a friend’s house. kung kelan nasanay nako na lagi syang nasa bahay at kakwentuhan ko. My frnds dencil and lyn broke up din. Then ate gi** decided to leave his playboy husband. Just yesterday, eric one of my closest friend, left for US. Joyce fr d same circle of “my mst real frnds” is currently doing her solas and soon will be leaving pinas for work. Then ako…before the year ends or after, hav to go somewhere miles away fr home. Haaaayyyyyyy… So it made me realize d fact that I wasn’t d only one experiencing lost… every body is…anybody would…in some part of our lives.

Endless sharing of effective medications- this is what my dad, uncles, aunts and their friends are normally talking about. Gamot sa arthritis, diabetes, precautions ng mga prone sa heart attack or stroke, etc. Does it mean that they fear death? Or dat dey fear reality? Nah… I guess they’re just tryin to get hold onto something beautiful--- LIFE. Im sure when I reached the same age, I’ll be doing d same thing. Ngayon pa nga lang, sangkatutak na vitamins na ang nilalaklak ko eh! I admit I fear death but id rather put it this way…I LOVE LIFE! Kahit n nga ba puro problema at pagsubok ang buhay ko…I still love it d way it is.

Same thing applies to relationships… we want to hold on to something beautiful which is --- LOVE. So we nurture it with lots of vitamins- care, understanding, patience,etc. When it gets really sick we give it medications and more attention. We give everything we could possibly share just to prolong life…and love. Perhaps it is already our nature to fight for something important to us…to fight for life…to fight for love.

After exerting those “extras” and our very best, and still death comes along...then we face fear. Great fear of losing something that we have worked hard for… something we value so much. It aint easy to let go of something that has been a part of our whole being…so still we fight even if we know na wala tyong laban sa fate…sa kagustuhan nung NASA TAAS.

…then we give our all…then we get tired…then we stop struggling…then we start accepting…then we open our arms… then we simply let go. Wala na tyong dapat pagsisihan when reach dat point…coz we already gave our best shot. We did our part so its time to let God take over.

I came to realize that there’s a good thing in fearing lost and death… we learn to give importance to what we have and doesn’t have. We learn to value our past, present and our future. It gives us a chance to make the best out of our lives and all sort of relationships. It teaches us to dream and inspires us to make it come true. The same fear teaches us to be brave enough to live… to love… and to let go.

Its ok to fear lost and death, for it only proves that we value the greatest gift of God---- LIFE and LOVE. Let us all enjoy the fleeting moment…let us try to be worthy of the gift.


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